found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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