I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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