We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
