I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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