Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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