After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
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I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis