i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.