just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.