I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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