I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize