Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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