So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize