Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize