I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
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