you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize