shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
