i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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