just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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