you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Enjoy the penises
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
