in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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