I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
