I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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