I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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