is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
