great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's shark week go big or go home
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
