Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When are your genitals available?
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