she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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