i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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