she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
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Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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