Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize