She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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