so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
