just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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