Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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