I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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