Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
