I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he shaved USA in his pubs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
