I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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