mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize