Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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