He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize