He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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