Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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