her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
