So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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