Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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