I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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