why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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