i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize