dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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