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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  i just snorted my name. best moment ever

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (760): View more from California

  so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

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• (415): View more from California

  This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.

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