i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head