The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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